Ice and Injury:

Roxy’s Story By Roxy Rocker

       December 26, 2021:

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It was a wet, wintery day. I was heading to the office to help a client with some body pain and to connect with people all day. The roads were slippery and I was driving. My car slid on the ice and I crashed and blacked out. Next thing I noticed was that I was bloody, and an EMT told me, “Don’t move, it’s your neck.” I was in an ambulance on my way to Lahey Hospital. I don’t remember much after that. I didn’t wake up until late morning of 12/28. I stayed in that hospital for almost 12 days. It was difficult to deal with the holidays and anticipate when I would go home and if I could safely take care of myself. I also was waiting for surgery on my nose and orbital bone. It was a scary and lonely time. People talking to me was uncomfortable because my brain could not process all of the instructions and information. I hurt my neck and later learned I also had a brain injury- to this day I still struggle with headaches and pain. In the hospital I spoke with my therapist a lot to make sure I didn’t get depressed. I was told that I was going to be disabled and I better get on disability because I would not be able to work. I was determined to figure out how to walk without falling. But many questions were always tumbling through my mind like; how I was going to navigate the stairs to go home, and how I was going to manage my business. The thoughts, fears, and confusion were endless. I knew after this accident I wanted to help more people. I was determined that I was going to do something for the world of disability and make change in this world. I also knew I had to go back to my office and help people feel better. I had to learn new skills and techniques to make my job as a massage therapist easier, for I could not do deep tissue any longer after the neck injury. Healing, resilience, and my own perseverance was extremely important to me. I had to find the strength to bounce back from this car accident in 2021. It was deeply painful, and hard to cope with my life and body in a different way. This brain injury and its implications were new to me; even though I had a harder time processing my entire life, now that was even harder. I had a difficult time processing and with these moments of silent thinking with zero words to describe my thoughts. I had extreme silence, terrible headaches that were on the right side of my head that were a new sensation and very painful. My neck constantly ached and with all the pain, my body changed as well. I was experiencing outbursts of anger and more anxiety than ever before. Over 2022 and 2023, I found my body healing and even its shape was changing. I found a partner that could help me recover in a way that was beneficial. I never had help like this before. It was a new experience. My brain feels like it’s slowing down and speeding up at the same time. Even though my brain isn’t working the same, I’ve learned I have to accommodate myself differently, and while sometimes I don’t know how, I have people that can help me now. I am such a positive and happy-go-lucky person. Changes can happen so fast inside your brain that you have to learn how to approach activities and your life so differently. I am still learning things. It has been a change; yet, with change there is acceptance. I am very grateful for all of this to have happened. It hasn’t been easy, but the rewards have been a true blessing. My practice has grown, I lost weight, and I have a quality relationship that has been wonderful. These car accidents can be life changing, but they are filled with opportunities for transformation and new beginnings. I am so delighted that I was able to share a portion of my story with you at this time.